Girl Talk: The Dating Game

After reading Leanne Woodfulls blog post about dating
I couldn't help but think about my OWN love life
In no way is this a blog post about dating "advice"
Hell no
Advice, me?, no
I've been single for over a year now and the thought
of going on a date frightens the shit out of me
(Especially as I should technically be going to one soon)
OMG if you compare me now and compare me to my
16 year old self, what a difference that will make
Things changed when I hit 20 and I got out of a stupid
relationship with a childish guy who I didn't even like
That's when maturity hit my brain cells
Why on earth was I dating guys for the sake of it!
It was time to settle down
My heart got broken
In fact, shattered, at the age of 17
I won't go into that but that's when I truly had proper feelings for someone
However short the relationship was
I really liked the guy!
And I never liked anyone as much as I liked him
But I found that whatever relationship you're in,
it really doesn't matter how long you've been in the relationship
You can be in a relationship for 2 years and not give a fuck about that person
And you can be in a relationship for 3 months and give a fuck about that person
I've never had a long relationship
I've always thought I've had commitment issues
But really, it was only over one thing
This commitment phobia I thought I had was based on
this psychological review I suddenly cast about the relationship
my parents had and how their marriage broke down.
I thought I was doomed forever like my mum
That I won't ever marry any one in case I met someone so horrible like my dad
It won't be the case, my mums pretty adamant in hitching me up
I was just young, and having "fun" (If that's what you want to call it)
I've learnt so much from the relationships I've been in
In a way it's been a great experience observing men/boys
and how their minds work
How some are pretty emotional wrecks
and how some lie to your face but don't really give a shit if you know too
and then there's some who you are their rebound
and some who are pretty immature and think life is a game
and the ones who can't make their minds up
to the ones who want it their way or the highway
From the ones who are pretty good looking and stylish and have poles up their arses
To the ones who don't know how to dress and are very insecure so treat you like shit
They've all been a great experience to find out
what makes a good balanced relationship
Love and respect
That's all it takes
Respect will always be there when the honeymoon stage is over
And love makes sure he has enough of it in him, to make sure he doesn't hurt you

I'm 22 in a weeks time
It sounds like I've been in a million relationships
But I haven't, just over a handful
And I am nearly 22, so what do you expect, a nun? LOL
They've been from 3 months to 7 months long
I've never been in a long relationship and to be honest
because my brain cells have matured and I have been single for over a year
Even though I've had many requests (Not to blow my own whistle)
I've said no to all of them
Because they're not my type, or on my wavelength and they're not...
Well...
Marriage Material
I know it sounds a bit ridiculous thinking about "marriage" at 22
But I'm Turkish
And Turks need to be all geared up and bag a man who can be their soul mate
Well that's what the families think
You can have the women going to weddings and eying up the prize brides
For Gods sake
It's so...... gay
It's annoying
I dunno, it's a way of life I guess for cultures like Indians/Pakistanis with their "aunties"
and Turks/Kurds with the women checking out the boys/girls
It's just SO DAUNTING
*Deep Sigh Inserted*

The word "love"
I don't know what love is
I don't appreciate people saying "I love you"
when they bloody don't mean it
Especially teenagers
You're 14, love doesn't exist at 14 for Gods sake

We all make mistakes but the point is that after the age of 20
you shouldn't really be making mistakes
My mum has a quote:
"You can make a mistake once but doing it the second time isn't a MISTAKE"
It's true
There's some really silly people out there who need to be shaken
so they realise that they're in a wrong relationship
You should be able to notice but people don't want to as they're
so wrapped up with this person who thinks they can mind fuck them
It really frustrates me, it really does
It's easier said than done, I know
But you shouldn't get involved with someone who treats you like garbage
And I know, that's an American word but I don't give a flying fuck

So back to the point after a gazillion sentences,
Dating is Daunting
I am single and I am ready for a relationship
A serious relationship
A straight-to-the-aisle-after-a-few-years relationship
It's just the first stage that scares me
The uncomfortable stage where you have insecurities about yourself
But you shouldn't though should you
I mean if this guy likes you then you shouldn't care about yourself that much
But boy is it difficult when you KNOW it's going to be serious
Oh my word
Dating? to hell with you
I will conquer you soon
Very soon
And if I make a fool of myself,
to hell with it
Making a fool of yourself is apparently "cute"
Or maybe that's only when the actors say it in scripts on rom-coms
Meh, I gots this shet sorted
Or so she says 


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